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Another experience
Something funny happened this week. I do not know if it is a Reflector fact, but it made me smile. For the last month, I have been dreaming a lot (or being aware of lots of dreams); I could remember 3 or 4 dreams a night. It could be nightmares or happy dreams.
On Tuesday night I dreamt of Gerard Depardieu, a French actor quite famous here. In the dream, he was with 2 other guys in a bar, looking lonely, and i was walking by with my parents. The dream itself and the setting is not so important, i could not analyse it, there were few feelings attached. It is the first time I dream of him, and usually people I know in my dreams are part of my family or friends, never famous people.
What is funny is that I saw a friend during the day, and I told her about my dream. And she said "That's because you watched TV the night before, he was playing in "Germinal" on Monday evening". And I said "No, I did not watch it". I was not aware the moovie was on TV that evening.
I am pretty sure I dreamt about him because I picked it up from the collective unconscious that night (all these people who had watched the moovie and were dreaming about it) . I thought it was amusing!
Thank you Jwala! Very interesting indeed. I loved reading about your experience, I can learn a lot from it. It still scares me deepp down to be in front of a group and to "lead" it, but my intuition tells me it can be an enjoyable, powerful and enthusiastic experience. "Just be" as you rightly said. Will keep u posted when it happens...
Love
Isabelle
Ps: I send you a mail in July via the HD forum box. Did u see it?
Hi Isabelle,
I'm just responding to your enthousiasm about your work...I think its totally great what you're doing! I just rembember that as a reflector, training a group on communication and personal development might be easy...just be !!
I used to work as a psychiatric nurse (in training) when I was younger (18-22) and I used to lead sharinggroups there. Even though I was ridicously young, I remember it as almost magical as I would just be present to whatever would be present in the group. In the beginning I got very nervous and insecure as I felt it was my responsibility what was going on, but from the moment I understood that whatever was going on was a shared responsibility, it became much easier. Especially, when I dropped holding a preference to what the atmosphere should be. Something I learned later was to feel free at any time to disconnect if I felt tension in my body. (I used to feel I somehow was not allowed or something to disconnect..trying to be always involved and not miss anything) If I'm in group situations now, I simply take lots of breaks. This disconnecting, I learned the hard way, I ended up in the hospital with neckspasme due to tension once during staffing a major emotional group process. I just got glued into the emotional stuff that was happening in front of me and forgot to disconnect or take breaks. (In this process, I was not active, I just watched for 7 days).
I just wanted to share my experiences in groups and classes after I read your message, that's what came up for me...love to you!
Jwala
Hello Jwala!
Thanks for the sharing. I loved when you say: "letting whatever this 'I' is become big and spacious and receptive." Very very inspiring.
Answering your question: no I am not that big with fashion. I love clothes and shoes, and if I could/would, I would spend lots of money on them. But they are not my priority. I do not follow the fashion trends, I can't be (and never have been) bothered wearing the latest colour/shape/jewel etc.... I wear the clothes that I like, which suits me and my shape, and in which I feel good and confident. I love wearing clothes which make me stand out.
I loved it too like you , when I heard I was not designed to work!! Just to BE!! Suited me fine. I have never been a huge work-addict. In companies, i was definitely not the one being there at 7 am and leaving at 8.00 pm!! But my work was always done in time (at least the minimum). When an extra was needed, I made myself available too. At the moment, yes, it is true that I have to work quite a lot and invest time preparing my training contents, finding and meeting customers, but it does not bother me that much because I have already rested for 5 months, it is time to be active (with summer season, it is ideal as per chi-kong precept). I do it for ME, not for a boss or for the shareholders of a company, and globally it is fun, it is like an adventure, a game. It challenges me on my fears and i am growing so much, I know this job is going to sharpen me and make me bigger and better (in my self-esteem, and self-confidence); I made that choice to go freelance, because when I start training, I feel it will give me a real sense of usefulness and purpose (training on personal development, communication..). And I know it is just a stepping stone to something else, but I do not know what.. I know a trainer job can be very tyring : you travel a lot, stay in hotels, you start early, finishes late, you have all the time the pressure of the groups in front of you, you give a lot of yourself... I will see how I handle it. Maybe one day, I will come to your life style because it sounds very relaxing (work 3 days a wek and lots of fre time and traveling for pleasure).
Love
Isabelle
Hi Isabelle,
So nice to read your reply ! I love what you write about being in the moment !
I totally recognize everything you wrote. I'll give a try what it is for me:
I can only describe in what climate living in the moment happens for me as it seems there is not much I can do to make it happen. Actually, even the tiniest manipulation in an effort to make it happen seems to rather take me out of the moment. (I don't think it really does, the moment is really all there is, it just feels like it) It happens when I 'm quiet behind all the movement, judgement, talking, jumping that is going on. This keeping quiet has a quality of not doing anything, being, almost lazy (in the sense of no effort, where I don't try to change anything). With being open, just letting all come through me. Or letting whatever this 'I' is become big and spacious and receptive. Sometimes I feel that this 'I' is without any content, empty, open. In the meantime I might be joking, fighting, dancing, talking...but this spread-out feeling is there and i can feel a space within where there is relaxation.
I love to slow down (I used to be super,super speedy and I still probably move 10 times faster than average) and i love to do nothing (i used to be a star performer at work, working harder than anybody, but totally losing connection to myself). It seems that when I slow down I find my own speed, I get a sense of self. Actually, waiting only one month to make a decision seems really rushed to me ;-) (And, to be honest...i really wonder if there is such thing as making decisions).
My work changed from a full-on engineering job to a 3 day workweek playing secretary in a non-profit organisation where I do very little without feeling guilty. I earn much less money, but now I have a lot of time for myself, which I love more. Also, with this job I can leave for 2 months to India in the winter.
When I heard that I'm not designed to work, I completely LOVED it. I felt really recognized. At the same time I'm jealous when I read that you're freelancing, your job sounds really fun and interesting !
If you wanna know more about Osho, check the website: www.osho.com
By the way..i'm lucky to have 2 reflector friends (1 woman, 1 man) in Amsterdam. We all seem to love fashion, we're all naturally trendwatching..how about you?
Love,
Jwala
Living the moment
Hi Jwala
thank you for your nice post and sharing your amazing experiences. They sound beautiful. Who is Osho by the way?
It is nice to have you on the forum. Thank you for reminding me that living the moment is the key, this is my main goal right now, so I can stop my mental from overtaking the moment by running 3 steps ahead or worrying for the future!! And therefore i can enjoy, I can feel, I can BE.
What is for you "living the moment"? What comes to me is: being still inside even if you are in motion, being centered at all times, being able to connect with the inner feelings all the time (is what I am living right now feeling right for me? If yes, I enjoy, if no, I make a move). It is like being aware of our breathing at all times and feeling in tune with the universe around us. It is being at peace, feeling it in our breathing. Right now as I am writing, I feel it. Unfortunately, it does not last always and going back to this state is an eternal aim.
I am curious: what do u do now? Still working in telecoms? :wink:
Talk to u soon
Isabelle
Hi there...this is so much fun ! After surfing the web for months on HD, i finally found this forum. As i'm a reflector 6/2, it is really very nourishing to read experiences from other reflectors and recognize their stories.
As I was reading Moons (nice name!) input, I was just nodding a lot. Then I read she used to be a business engineer for Alcatel...so funny as I used to work as an telecom engineer for MCI/Worldcom where one of my jobs was the overbuild of the Alcatel network...
Something about me:
I was different from the very beginning. My favorite passtime as a 2 year old would be asking questions about the planets, moon and universe. I loved to think about space and time. While thinking, and somehow traveling through space and time, there would come a moment where I realized that the universe was really that big, existing at the same time while I was just lying in my bed. So the moment would start to hold the whole universe so to speak...and I would just get utterly quiet and peaceful and in awe..It was really hard for me to just live and accept daily reality without knowing what i was doing here and could not believe that other people would just live as if there was nothing to it. My questions about why we're here on this planet, why we know only so little and can get involved with such little mundane things all the time were burning. I very much resisted all input and conditioning. When i look back at my childhood, I see one big fight (often physically, yes I'm tough!), all about resisting others to condition me. I wanted to be empty and spacious and without influence. I did not want to be pulled into the mundane. Unfortunetely, I somehow lost this fight. At age 7 I had an awakening moment though, where I could see that everybody was running, missing the moment. I promised I would never forget what was revealed to me. It was as if I had a lifeline, an anchor to guide me if I would get lost in life. Also, I read a lot. Searching, looking...At 22, I traveled to India and arrived in Poona, just before Osho left his body. Being present at his funeral was the most amazing thing, the whole atmosphere was full of thankfulness, gratefullness and everybody seemed to feel lucky beyond words. This pulled me into sannyas. Sannyas is just permission to be myself. I lived for years in the commune in India where I got involved in all that was offered and especially in deconditioning. It was there that someone read my chart on HD and a lot fell into place since then. Anyhow...I'm willing to share a lot more and curious to read a lot more...but for now...enough!
Love,
Jwala
Hi Sandra
thank you for your post, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the explanation about the "1"; so basically a" 1" will feel pushed for studying in life and getting more knowledge, "investigating", right?
Regarding your question about reflectors and reflecting, I unfortunately do not have in my direct surrounding people who are close to me and who are involved in HD as much as I am. So I have never heard someone telling me consciously that, if they find me xxx (funny, joyful, intense...), it means they are xxx. I would agree with you anyway, because it means this Reflector guy mirrored back something in you that you enjoy (fun).
Regarding my "6" experience and where I live... I am 31 and when I was 27, I moved to paris (I was previously living in the UK in the country side near Swindon). I have been living for 4 years and a half now in a flat right at the outskirt of west paris (I take the underground and within 45 mns I can be in the heart of paris). It is not as vibrant and romantic and beautiful as the heart of Paris, but it is quieter, and probably less stressful. I have a huge park 15 mns walk from my place, very hilly and peaceful, so I can go there to "reunify" with myself when needed (run, walk, or taichi). I live on the 7th floor, which was good omen to me (aahhh the dream of the 7th heaven, do you say like that in english? :D ), overlooking a tennis court, flats and offices. I don't feel I would like to stay in paris for very long now, I was brought up in the country, I need its beauty and tranquility, I am dreaming of the country side and a peaceful stone/wood house in the nature, with trees, water, grass,... in the middle of no-where (I mean: not next to a road). This is a wish, I know it will come true one day, but i do not know if it is for very soon or later. I still need somehow the buzz of the city, being close to my friends for meetings, and parties. Maybe when I meet "the one" , it will be easier to move away from paris. Don't know if that answers your question about the roof, but I enjoyed sharing, so thank you for asking! :wink:
Isabelle (moon)
Hi Moon,
I've trying to post a reply ever since you posted your reply...things got in the way...but we'll see, this is somehow perfect.
I remember reading your post and thinking: wow!!! sounds like me...career change...I guess that's were I got stuck in replying, had to work on what reading this brought up for me...all good!!! I guess I hadn't completely accepted my career change.
It's funny you ask about my 1 in my profile. I am coming to terms with it...good, cause that's me. I felt it took me a long time to get things but what is actually happening is that with my 1, I have to build the "foundation" which would be studying, learning and really feeling like I know the material. In this case HD, since I've taken the ABC course and I know some people are already doing mini-readings having finished this course, and here I am still feeling like I don't know enough. I just had to say to someone who wanted a reading that I was not ready yet. I felt good about saying that yet I wished I could do the reading.
I have another reflector experience which I truly loved. My friend, also an MG, and I had lunch with a reflector and we were saying how fun he was. The next day, we wanted him to join us for lunch again because he was so fun and he did. Well, we came to the conclusion that we were fun too and he was reflecting what was in us...does this sound accurate to you??? To other reflectors out there???
Oh, and I would like to hear on your experiences as a 6, now that you are on the rooftop. Have you moved??? Where do you live??? Well, I ask this because in listening to Jovian Archive radio there was a chat about this and how people experienced moving to a place that resembled the roof top...e.g. overlooking the town. And when they reached 50, they somehow moved to the town...very interesting!!!!
I just love HD I could go on forever,
Sandra
Response to Moon
Hello moon,
I wanted to start by saying; a psychologist who is new to human design gave me my reading. He was not very informative. Since then I've scheduled another reading and I'm going to enroll in HD course. I've since learned my personality is my own & not to be confused with traits of a reflector.
When I said I could relate to most of the reflectors I meant; it's as if Human Design found me. I am 28 years old; two years ago I decided to leave a career I loved. I worked in oncology and was emotionally drained after 7 years. I found myself on a quest to find out who I really am and what I should be doing with my life. Once I left the work force and started focusing on myself I felt/still feel lost. I realize when I have people around I really do feed off of there engery. So, as I learn more about myself and other reflectors I will post more comments.
Thanks you :roll:
sandra's posts
Hi Sandra
Thank you for your enthusisatic post! It always feels warm and nice to receive such feedback. Don't worry for the conditioning, don't feel guilty, we are born as reflectors, because we have chosen this in order to learn and grow. That is our karmic choice (or so do I believe).
Thank you for all your explanations. Yes, I agree with you for the 6/3 explanations, and the 3 stages of the 6/, I had a reading with Gennaro, this is exactly what he said. thanks God, i am entering the 2nd part!! I am 31. It made sense with what I have been going thru so far, and for the last two years, there are big changes in my life (professionaly wise), and I feel my life is more freeflowing now. I was a business engineer in a telecommunication company (alcatel), I resigned in 2003, trained up and I am now starting as a freelance consultant-trainer for companies, in personal development, stress management, better communication.. all things that I learned for myself for the last 10 years, often thru great pain and hard work, but always with great detemination and joy to grow. Now, despite my young age, I feel very legitimate to talk about them and share my experience and hints with other because I experienced this learning in my body (I have a a gate that signifies sharing with others about my process).
Can you tell me more about the 1/ profile? i am curious to know.
Kind regards
Moon :D
Post of colleensway
Hello Colleensway
Nice to see more Reflectors on the forum! I am a bit confused by a part of your post. It seems to me I read two opposite sentences. First you say "My personality seems to go against everything I've read about reflectors so far" and then you say: "From this forum alone I can relate to most of the reflectors." Please could you kindly clarify for me?
thanks
Moon :D
Hi,
My only experience with reflectors is when I took the Living Your Design class (live). We had one reflector student and so, our teacher would ask him how he was feeling about the class and it was exactly what we were feeling. It was interesting and fun, but the first time as he started saying he was confused I thought "Oh no...that's me!" and I did feel some guilt about the conditioning.
Sandra
Hi Moon,
I loved reading your post and at first, I thought "wow, this is long" but as I started reading I just continued reading.
This is what I have to say: WOW!!!
I can't imagine having all open centers...I have 4 open centers and I am learning how I am being conditioned and how I've struggled/am struggling with these open centers, especially with my open spleen, which means getting into the "wrong" relationships, things, etc. I do experience some of the things you mentioned about being concerned how others feel and how your words/actions affect them.
One of the most helpful things I've learned about open centers is to spend time alone/disconnect.
The profile is our role in life. My profile is a 1/3, so the 3 (trial & error) is trying new things to find out that it doesn't work and in the process learning. It also means that you can easily see what is not working & can improve things. The 6 goes through three different stages in life...from birth to 28 it's a 3 (trial and error), from 28 to 50 goes through a stage of processing what was learned in the trial and error stage and after 50 it is the role model.
Well, I hope this bit of information helped some.
Best Wishes,
Sandra
I am a reflector 6/2
Hello to all;
I am a reflector who has just been introduced to the world of human design. My analyst had never had a reading for a reflector so I'm still very confused. I have been told I need to wait a lunar cycle before making big decisions in my life. What I was told about reflectors fascinates me. My personality seems to go against everything I've read about reflectors so far. I am looking into Human Design classes;after my 28 day wait period I'm sure this will be something I'm still interested in. If there is anyone out there who could explain some things to me I would greatly appreciate it. From this forum alone I can relate to most of the reflectors. I do get very overwhelmed at times, I do feel a spitural connection to everyone & thing, I love to debate & agrue( not sure if this is a reflector trait), I love to do things alone. I would love to hear from any reflector. Thanks
Thanks.
Thanks!
thanks Stacy for your feedback. thank you for your understanding too! Yes, i have to agree and I hope will not sound too "showing off", but "brave" is the adjective I always used to describe my first quality (you know like in the odd job interview, where they say "give me 3 of your qualities and 3 of your weak points" :lol: ). Or when people give feedback about my actions.
It is funny that you point it out.
Moon
Thank you, Moon
Moon, Thank you for sharing your experiences on being a reflector, I have found them interesting. I'm not sure of a person who is a reflector in my life right now, but have been studying human design to learn how to respect myself and others more through honoring individual designs. You seem to be very brave souls to come into this world completely open! With my experiences in understanding how to work with an open solar plexus and throat center I can only imagine what you feel...
All the best,
Stacy
Sharing my experiences with you as a Reflector
dearest all
It was soooooo nice to read your messages in this Reflector topic! It feels good. It is very kind to have given us a place to share our experience as Reflectors or with Reflectors.
So I am a 30 years-old Reflector and I could talk for hours to you about this experience. It is not always easy for me to make the difference between what comes from my own character, education, personality, experiences, and what comes from being a Reflector, as I am very new to it. Please be indulgent with me! I will appreciate all your feedback about it.
When I first came to HDS one month ago, I spent hours on the internet (I am allowing myself lots of free time at the moment), reading on the websites, exchanging emails with 3 lovely analysts. I was so overwhelmed with this revelation that after one week, I started to dream about HDS, think of it 24hrs, and I was really tired. I had taken it too much in. I had to take some mental and physical distances with it (= avoiding computer) for a few days, and now I am better: I can handle it.
Someone said that a Reflector by the coffee machine was upset by the energy of the Generators in the way and went away. As of me, I would have said "excuse me" and got my way thru. But I can strongly relate to the feeling that some people don't think of others and seem "selfish". I always question myself (sometimes too much): am I not in the way? am I not disturbing someone by doing/saying such and such? etc... I think I am quite aware of others' needs. I have learned to be tolerant and just accept that some people are different and that they don't mean bad by being in the way. They are just not aware. I know that sometimes I appear to others as "touchy" or reactive because I am so sensitive and easily hurt. In French, we say "flayed alive". I am very sensitive to the way people talk to me.
Often I ask myself "Am I doing right or wrong? Am I not hurting someone?" and it is really difficult to give myself a definite answer. Can some other Reflectors relate to that?
It is really weird that you talk about Aikido because I have been attracted to it for 10 years now, and never got to do it. I practice Taichi, which is beautiful and very good for me as I need lots of grounding.
As a summary, I would say that my life has not always been easy. I went thru tough times. I learned it the hard way sometimes by trials and errors until I would understand that something or someone was not good for me; yet it has been beautiful and I feel blessed by life. Going thru tough times gave me in the end the “joie-de-vivre” (joy of living). Often nice stuff came my way. And when it was not nice stuff, I learned from it and accepted it. I do not know if this is a Reflector thing or not, but what my friends admire most about me is my courage and my positiveness in life ; they say "You always go forward". That's my way to survive. Several times, when it got hard, when I was feeling so different, alone and misunderstood, I was really wondering what I was doing here. I wanted to be "up there", but not on earth. I would never suicide, but thinking of it as a possibility was sometimes a relief. I do not think of it now, don't worry!!
One other thing my friends/family appreciate is my non-judgemental attitude. My brother (MG) told me once I was the person that judged him the least in his life.
When I was a child, I tried to look happy, keeping silent because I thought that was expected from me; but deep down I suffered and I was crying a lot. I was vomiting each time there was an exam from the age of 6 till 11. Too much constraint on me. I never felt understood or completely accepted as a child and teenager. Unfortunately I had no one to talk to, and to share with at the time. My lovely brother and parents are Manifesting Generators, busy and energetic and not emotional. I felt happy with animals because their aura was kind, loving and neutral. I also found a great escape with adventure books. From the age of 7, I could read one book per evening, hiding with a lamp beneath the blanket!
At the age of 14, I was rejected by girls at school who said : "You are too different. And it is undefinable". We did not know at the time they were so right!!! ( no defined centers!!).
From the age of 16, I started to have really caring friends in my life, and from the age of 22, I "escaped" from nice but heavy France and family, and I started 4 years of travelling, and thru my travels and encounters, I started de-conditioning with a lot of personal development work. I never forced for it, it came my way. I love personal development work, my true passion is finding my spiritual connection with whatever is around (God, the universe, ?). Now I do not need group courses or even books reading anymore (only if it is on very specific subjects that I have not tackled yet); I can manage on my own, or by calling a few friends when I can't get over an issue. That's why , as far as HDS is concerned, I do not feel appealed (right now) to learn about the in-depth knowledge (gates, lines,...). I do not have the patience to learn about it. It is too scientific for me! I prefer to have my reading done at some stage, and just going with the flow and my intuition. Maybe I am wrong and maybe it would help me to understand for myself how it works. We will see.
I met great guiding friends thru my life, and I thank them so much. I have probably something like 100 friends round the world, but I can only share my deepest emotions, thoughts or feelings (esp. when I hurt) with 4 of them (2 are MG, one is projector, and the other one I do not know yet). This number is growing as I am opening more to life and coming more in line with my true self. So I attract people who really suit me. I have always chosen my jobs, my friends, my activities. Of course, I had from time to time to separate from a few friends as their energy was dragging me down. I always tried to do it in an open way, writing to them to share my feelings and position with them. Since the last year I made a decision to work in a field that would really suit me.
I am not always nice and gentle, sometimes I have temper. I can be tough too. Often people are surprised to see my reactions. I have a very pronounced sense of justice, and when I see people not respecting others, the earth or animals, it drags me mad and I just have to express it. My biggest question at the moment is: when to tell or NOT to tell to someone that something about their behaviour or words hurt/disappointed me. Because sometimes I get anger back from some people (strangers) and it takes me one hour to recover from it as it makes me feel rejected!! When it comes to people I know, they usually appreciate my spontaneous feedback. Can some Reflectors help me there?
I am still working on my self-confidence, self-love, self-esteem and acceptance, but isn't it a life-long process for all of us? I am also learning to manage on my own, and to use less and less the guidance of others; this is not always easy.
One thing: I read that Reflectors' main negative emotion was disappointment. For sure, I experience it. But I also experience(d) anger and frustration (which are Generators and Manifestors' emotions).
I have always been attracted to astrology, and to the stars and the moon. I am truly fascinated by the moon. I am a Reiki Master and it feels very natural to me. My openness is a great asset there.
When I read back what I have written, I feel I have come a long way, because I would not have been able before to share so much intimate stuff about me with complete strangers! I have a feeling that most people who come to HDS and search for themselves are caring and respecting. Anyway, I experienced only nice things with people since I investigate the HDS.
Knowing about HDS and me being a Reflector gave me a great sense of purpose; it gave me recognition. Now I can explain lots of things in my life, past and present, and I can tell to my friends "yes I am different". I understand more also about my hyper-sensitivity (all the 6 senses). I understand why it drives me sick and hyper when I am in restaurant with bad energy. I understand why I often feel that people's energy in the streets is heavy (I live in busy and stressed Paris). I understand why at tai-chi classes it makes me want to cry or shout (depending on my mood) when someone stands for the movements only one meter from me, as if not respecting my space. I understand why I always had such a bad sleep (getting better now). I understand why some days I can run 10 kms and some other days 10 meters!!! Why I sometimes feel tired and I envy people who get up fresh and energetic every morning. I understand why I have always been so convinced about society's evolution steps; I often say "Watch out, in 5/10/20 years time, this will...".
I hope I have not bored you with my stuff! If some Reflectors happen to read this, I would be truly happy to have their feedback and know if they can relate or not to my experiences. I would be very happy to hear non-Reflectors' feedback too.
PS: and if someone could explain to me briefly what this means, I would very much appreciate:
Profile 6/3
Left Angle Cross of Limitation (42/32 | 60/56)
Moon :D
Reflectors (experience of)
Well it is nice to see old friends here again. Hello Bee, Pari, and everyone!
Anyway there is something that struck me from the start from my first seminar in Human Design, where I met 2 reflectors - maybe I met Celia who posted here, as this name sounds familiar - in Newcastle, both had walked from home to the seminar while most had travelled from futher away. Secondly these 2 reflectors, apparently, lived as neighbours in the same building without ever meeting before! Both worked in professions that focussed on caring for others.
Both reflectors sat next to me, on different days during the seminar, and that is how we got speaking - it is very fascinating to notice the people who "randomly" have no choice about being in youraura.
So I got the idea that reflectors are about coincidence, as if co-incidence is a forcefield in their life. Anyone else find that?
Another thing, in the first seminar I attended with Ra, he talked from the start of the aura and the interaction of auras, and the pain that caused in life. And I looked around the room at the break times, and the projectors scuttled out for cigarettes, as if that gave a social reason for standing outside, alone, allowing their auras to clear. And the reflectors often seemed to be just absent. Gone. Not there. Aura emptying is really obvious in anyone with few definitions, perhaps.
Finally I saw a reflector approach the group of generators blocking the way to coffee and biscuits, and saw the reflector stop a few feet away from the energy field in some obvious physical discomfort, wanting coffee or water, the generators blocking the path, the conflict was almost palpable, and the reflector turned and left the room again. This affected me quite deeply - it was really as if a tsunami had engulfed the reflector and they were gone.
I agree with Bee, that reflectors are tough, Ra also mentions this. Ra once said, if he could chose his birth, he would choose to be a reflector, as they get the ultimate wisdom and the most interesting ride on the rollercoaster of life. But it seems to me to be a path of surrender, and I suspect reflectors gain wrinkles through living in a world of generators and manifestors.
Finally, and this is just speculation and instinct, I think that a totally ungated centre gives a whisper of the life of a reflector. Any centre with no gates is truly a place of deep potential wisdom, and perhaps within the possible list of ways any centre could be defined, an ungated energy centre is aanalogous to a reflector in microcosm.
8)
Can not keep silent about reflectors…Such a special beings!!
Just saw this topic and suddenly one picture from the past came to my abstract mind.
So, one another story…
It was in Follonica. It was seminar about sexuality with Ra. May be you know – how it is difficult to take good place to hear and to see Ra in seminar room. In the first raw! I never could win this game! So, I found more-less suitable place in second raw and listened Ra there first and second days of the seminar. On the third day I suddenly saw, that after beginning the place in front of me in the first raw is empty. Somebody was absent. So, after break I sat on this place. M-m! The pit! I was satisfied and I was ready to be serious HD student, digging the roots of humans sexuality and solving eternal questions of the world!
But!..
Suddenly my neighbor diverted my attention. He just switched off my dictofon… ?!..Hm-m… I didn’t grasp, what is the matter… Then I decided, that he mixed up ours dictofons. So, I switched on again my. Then in the next moment I found out that my dictofon – again – is switched off… Ye! I alredy knew that my neighbor is doing this...I am always ready to fight!So-ooo… I turned right… breath in… and… I discovered very satisfied (even – self-satisfied) face, which was smiling!... Well, I did't expect from myself such behavior, but I switch off his dictofon! So, we end up with little fight.
In one moment I became little schoolgirl, playing with her table-neighbor in the time of lesson. All was forgotten! Only laugh, play, joyful fear of teacher - were exist at this moment! So fresh, so instant, so childish moment.
Hello, Niccolai Alessandro, if you are reading this!!!
I can not forget this our meeting!
It was like I could not belive, that I am playing on RA ‘s SEMINAR! It was like somebody remind me about something inside me, something, what was hidden, because of….. (bla-bla), and something, what I found out is still alive!!
This somebody was a Reflector.
Hi Beemalchik
Interesting to hear about your Ukrainian reflectors. Of course we reflectors in England are, as you suggest, “perfect, quiet and lovely”. No, only joking!!
Loved your Aikido master analogy. I wish!! Actually I think it must take many years for an Aikido practitioner to become a master. My experience of being a reflector so far is, yes, sometimes I can give as good as I get (and more) though often that means a few rather clumsy beginner karate chops as opposed to expert Aikido moves! And at other times I can feel totally overwhelmed by the surrounding environmental aura - we may be able to survive conditioning in a way that canaries down mines don’t survive the gasses, but it can still be a painful experience. That’s probably because of all the not-self patterns still ingrained - maybe in a few years’ time I’ll have a few of those Aikido moves under my belt!
Just to continue a theme sparked off by some comments made by generators in another topic (Mechanics of Design - The Value of Response), where generators are discussing how much they need to “do” the sacral response, I have been wondering to what extent I can find the fine line between following my strategy and over-“doing” it. Ra has been at pains to point out that there is more to learning to be your self than just observing how we work - he says that we need to follow our strategy and I can see what he means.
However I’ve been observing the way I operate and have found that my strategy often operates best when I’m not looking for a specific result. For example, I’ve been noticing how discussing an issue with other people (a reflector strategy for getting clear on things) can bring me a new perspective on a decision. I did notice, however, that with one decision I had to make recently (just a small mundane one - haven’t had to deal with any of the major ones since coming across Human Design) it was made when the matter just cropped up in conversation in the aura of a friend with no deliberate looking for an outcome. I have a feeling that, if I started going out and trying to “expect” some kind of outcome from my conversations with people, that expectation might get in the way of a fruitful result. I suppose if I'm talking with the right people in the right places the right issues will crop up and the right decisions will be made without me having to deliberately think about it too much! However - more experimentation to do on this.
Celia (4/6 reflector)
Dear Gennaro!!!
You know what I like most of all in the life ? - when the structures and rules are destroying. That is why I am enjoing so much this moment - that we are talking about 14-th gate and Channel of Beat and Saturn return and in the part about Reflectors ....
Any way, I have joked about your "economicalment" - exactly, what I meant - what you said in reply - efficiency.
With love - Bee.
Thank you for your sharing about your relationship with money. I also step by step became happy, that I am not involving in question how to distribute money. Anyway, the life's experience show me, that I never could keep it in my hands (with my open Root and 2-nd gate in G center). And Parinama became happy of the fact of control of our money. He has also 45-th and he is 5/1 by profile.
Hi Beemalchik,
This is not really about reflectors, but what the hell. I have gate 14 but I am not sure if that is what makes me economical or not. I do try to be efficient. And that applies to money as well as actions. I most enjoy situations where I don't really deal with money and have as much as I need. I am happy to say that my 14.6 ("Wealth and Power at it's most exalted") has started to show itself after my saturn return and I don't struggle with money or power any more. I am also with a partner who has the 45-21 (Money Channel). It's great to be around that ego money energy. And she likes to control the money, which is fine with me. Any money I make I hand right over to her. I don't even count it. I have no idea what the bills are. But she tells me that the money coming in is more than the money going out, so I am happy.
Where to BE?
Hi,
As a reflector, one of the most important questions you ask yourself is "Where to be", right? My understanding is that for reflectors the right place means, the right people, the right community, and then Life is really brought to you. Where you are is very very critical.
I feel that I still haven't found a right place for me and I am almost 43 yo soon. Could any one of you, reflectors, please share your experience on how you found your place?
Thanks!
Machiko
5/2 reflector, Left angle cross of refinement
Kapaa, HI
Reflector Moments
Hi everyone,
I was typing my letter here and unexpectedly hit something on my keyboard, and everything disappeared. I am not sure whatever I was writing got send or not?
Anyway, I just found this forum today and writing here first time. I'd like to meet another reflector if possible in my area. I moved recently from Seattle WA to Kauai island, Hawaii. Are any reflectors here? I am still new to HD and very anxious to know more about my design. My life has been very mysterious and confusing. Especially, I am really not sure where I need to be, and what should I be doing in terms of working. If anyone have any suggestions on how to learn more about my design without much of spending money I'd really appreciate it. I have no idea why I do things the way I do and where am I heading to in my life.
I read someone writing "I'm not designed to work"? Maybe I am like that? It is getting more and more difficult for me to find a work, and I am feeling guilt and grief about not working for a long time. Maybe I am not meant to do so much? even though I try to do something. But nothing seem to be happening right now. I am coming from a family of very hard working people. And yes, I am very different.
Was that Jwala? who wrote you are Sannyasin. Me too! I went to Poona, India right after he left his body.
I was born in Osaka, Japan. I don't know how life lead me to all the places I've been to, it is a big mystery. I traveled in Russia, Europe, India (many times), Nepal, Korea, Thailand, Mexico, Canada and now lived in US for nearly 15 yrs. I'm surprised about this myself, as if it was never my decision. I still feel like I never found a right place for me. Now I am thinking of possibly going back to Japan. My mom is 80 yrs old and not doing very well. It's a big decision!!!
I am living with my husband who's birth info is not very clear. So I don't know his design. (He is from remote mountains in Thailand.)
I'm very glad that I found this forum, having this oppotunity to connect other reflectors.
I heard from my HD analist that Gennaro was trying to put toghther a list of reflectors and was going to offer a class to reflectors only. Does anyone know about this?
Thanks,
Machiko Yamaguchi aka Ma Shanti Kaasu
5/2 Reflector, Left angle cross of refinement
Posts: 1394
Joined: 2006-02-25