Please post any insights that you have about your open centers and how they impact living your design.
Answers to open centres
I have an Open root and and Open heart:
Q: Are you still in a hurry to be free of the pressure?
Yes I am becoming more aware of rushing into things to relieve the pressure. Recently I feel like I can watch my 'not-self' rushing around 'fire-fighting' and get frustrated by observing my behaviour. So I guess there is a kind of separation emerging between my 'self' and my 'not-self'. Although I find myself getting caught up in alot of 'mental pressure' where I try to analyse how to live my strategy ( wait to respond) instead of actually being able to do it. I then feel the frustration of being at the start of a long learning curve as I feel through my conditioning I resist my waiting. At home I am constantly surrounded by Oliver & Ben ( my two young children) who both have defined root centres, so I feel adrenalised by their presence alone and often under constant pressure to respond to their needs. Recently I have been 'stuck in a rut' with one illness after another going through our household. Consequently the boys aren't sleeping very well and so I am up several times a night with each. When they do go back to sleep I then find I lie there 'adrenalised' trying to get back to sleep with my mind working overtime. The next day I am then very tired and 'fire-fight' my way through the day. I also then try to avoid pressure and seek solitude where I can. Good days seem to flow more easily, with less resistance and I enjoy the challenges and deal with them accordingly. I am aware that this is when I am more in line with living my design and waiting to respond to the right pressures that come my way.
Q: Do You still have something to prove?
I have always felt a deep need to prove myself to the world. I have always been very competitive and put alot of pressure on myself to do the best I possibly could in all situations. Although I now have more awareness about not needing to prove myself, I still find myself under the influence of habits and patterns where I react before I can stop myself. For example, with my husband ( also has an open heart centre) we often get caught up in trying to prove ourselves to one another. Having an awareness is enabling me to start to break this pattern.
I am finding it difficult not to make promises, I have always been someone who has made alot of promises to myself and others and then twist myself inside out to try and keep them, with the health consequences that go with that. I am now working on strategies which bide me sometime before I have to make a decision and the ability to say 'no' to myself and others.
Joy
Emotional Manifesting Generator
I have the following centers open in my Design:
1) Head, 2) Ajna, 3) Splenic, 4) Root.
Am I still 1) trying to answer everyone else's questions? 2) trying to convince everyone that I am certain? 3) holding on to what's not good for me? 4) in a hurry to be free (of the pressure)?
The answer to everyone of these questions is yes. Being relatively new to Human Design, sure, I'm still doing all of those things, but with more awareness than I was before my reading and before starting to study Human Design. Specifically, I do find myself trying to answer questions that I have learned don't come from my open head. They are coming from the outside. Maybe that's one reason why I rarely seem to have many questions in class settings. Also, I don't feel certain about much in life, but the working world, for example, expects me to carry myself as an authority in certain areas. I'm inwardly wondering how others can be so sure about the information they seem to be sure of, since I think I've had access to similar information but I don't take it as the final word in the ways that others seem to do. Not that I have questions about whatever information is at hand, but how can others be so sure? I end up thinking that maybe they're bluffing, or maybe I missed something important along the way. Though I am less likely these days to hold onto what's not good for me, especially in terms of people, I think that I may still have the tendency to do so. Awareness in this area is helpful. Maybe I can see a pattern before it's too late in the future. I am certainly still in a hurry to be free of the pressure. Again, the pressure is from the outside. I have to hurry and get tasks completed so I don't have them 'hanging over my head.' I feel such urgency at times to get to another stage. Realizing that the stage I'm trying to get to doesn't exist is useful. Without a doubt, I behave as a product of conditioning of my undefined centers. Maybe it will change as I continue in my 7 year process. I am not sure what to expect.
Posts: 6
Joined: 2003-08-09