Hi all, I'm feeling quite powerless in having any influence with my 14 yr old daughter in relation to her education, and wondered if anyone here might be able to offer me any advice.

She is a bright child and teachers all say she has the potential to do really well. In spite of this she also appears to have a self-destruct button where education is concerned - not paying attention, not learning, being disruptive etc, etc. It's not all bad as in some lessons she shines and the teachers can't praise her highly enough.

I know the issue is respect - she wants (and deserves) to be respected before she can be expected to give respect, but in the real world - especially 21st century education - this does not happen. A life lesson she has to learn is that sometimes you just have to bite your lip, count to 10 and do something you don't want to do.

I believe in positive action rather than negative, and know from experience that she does not respond well to punishment in the form of grounding, taking away favourite things so they can be given back as a reward. As parents (her mother is a sacral generator) we are fast coming to the end of the line on knowing how to engage her - if there is negative energy in the air she simply switches off and nobody can get through. The school has rules and has to be seen to be keeping strictly to them, so she finds herself in isolation or detention fairly regularly - and we have been warned that the next stage is exclusion - I know that this will do her no good at all, and is more likely to have a negative impact on her - what she needs in encouragement - but I also understand that in a school of 1500 students they have to have a structure.

In school holidays she is lovely 90% of the time.

Is this familiar to anyone? Do you have any advice that might help me to help her?

thanks
Richard